GOD-ZILLA

The Top 15 Signs You Are Worshipping GodZILLA, Not God

15> Less smiting, more biting!

14> Every single story in the Old Testament ends with God destroying a city.

13> You insist that every courthouse display a copy of 10 instructions for destroying Tokyo.

12> Your hymnal is copyrighted by Blue Oyster Cult.

11> You're expected to build a cross big enough for crucifying Godzuki.

10> You issue a fatwa for jihad on Mechagodzilla.

9> The whole "Bambi is Satan" thing should have been a big tip-off.

8> His sole commandment: Thou shalt run screaming through the streets.

7> Every time you kneel to pray, your Lord steps on you.

6> Golden calf? No response.
Sacrificial lamb? Not even a twitch.
Passenger train full of screaming Japanese passengers? Bingo!

5> The sermon is lovely, but Reverend Takoshi's words are out of sync with his lips.

4> Instead of a communion wafer, you're supposed to eat Tokyo.

3> Recently chosen Pope Megalon XVI crushes all attempts to alter church doctrine.

2> You just spent $20,000 on eBay for the Virgin Mothra stuffed calzone.

and Topfive.com's Number 1 Sign You Are Actually Worshipping GodZILLA...

1> That thing about keeping the temple's lamps lit for eight days with no oil? Not a problem.