Saturday, December 24, 2011

Zombie Nativity

Deck your halls with something gory from the little town of Deathlehem this Christmas.

After three days in the grave, an unmarried zombie couple rose again and was visited by three undead wise men and a recently deceased shepherd. Gaspar was just impaled, Balthasar lost his head, and Melchior was burned to death in an unfortunate myrrh related accident. The shepherd's head has been smashed in and his brain is exposed, much to the delight of his bloodthirsty sheep. Joseph is oblivious to his stab wounds as he watches Mary partake in the "body of Christ." No need to wait for transubstantiation!

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Yuletide Rituals

Does God approve of our yuletide rituals? Take this Bible quiz to test your knowledge of what the scriptures say about holiday Christmas traditions.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Free Frozen Turkey

Receive a free frozen turkey by accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior before December 25th! There is no better way to celebrate a new life in Christ Jesus than with a delicious turkey dinner! Our turkey farmers in Freehold, Iowa are known throughout these United States for producing some of the most enormous fowls in America. Please accept this incredible new salvation offer.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Taking it all Off for Fundraising Calendar

After a career photographing vintage architecture, Lynne Damianos turned out to be the perfect choice to take pictures of 12 older guys in their birthday suits.

The award-winning photographer captured the character of the century-old Bancroft Building in evocative pictures she made into a calendar produced by the First Parish in Framingham to raise funds and awareness that older men age like fine wine

It sells for $15 with all proceeds going to the operating fund of the Unitarian Universalist congregation.
Damianos has done for a dozen geriatric bottoms, bellies and balding pates what Georgia O'Keeffe did for the wildflowers and skeletons of the Southwestern desert: She found beauty and vitality in unlikely places.

It's not like any northwestern COB camp would do such a thing.

Sunday, December 04, 2011

A Christian student group asked, “What would Jesus say if he came back today?”

Here is one response:

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Sharing the Blame

BMC has announced that their request for exhibit space at the 2012 Annual Conference has been approved. However, it could simply not have been on the merits of their request. Obviously there were other forces at work.

Keep calm and carry on.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

21st Century Ark-Building

20 years ago, Dutch construction company owner Johan Huibers had a dream that part of Holland had been flooded. The very next day, he was stricken with the compulsion to build an ark.

In 2004, Huibers completed his first ark, which was about half the size of Noah’s described ark in the Bible. He chartered the craft through Holland’s canals, charging $7 a person, which has funded his most recent project.

The new ark, which began construction in 2008 and has cost him just over $1 million, is every bit as large as Noah’s and is even being crafted using his measurement of cubits (the length from one’s elbow to fingertips). The ark weighs just under 3,000 tons, the official length of the vessel is 450 feet and it is being designed to carry 1,500 passengers, including two live chickens and a few pair of fiberglass animals.

Made out of pine, as God had requested a resinous wood, the ark would not have been architecturally sound without a steel hull. Amongst architects and boatbuilders, there is some skepticism as to how Noah’s Ark may have been so long, as historically, no wooden ship has ever been successfully built over 350 feet as the length does not allow for enough support to keep the hull watertight. So Huibers built her with a steel keel.

According to Mr. Huibers, the ark is about ready to set sail, and he is in negotiation with London about bringing the ark down the Thames for the 2012 Summer Olympics.

Monday, November 14, 2011

How Christianity Briefly Conquered the Solar System

By the 1700s, there could no longer be any doubt. Earth was just one of many worlds orbiting the Sun, which forced scientists and theologians alike to ponder a tricky question. Would God really have bothered to create empty worlds?

To many thinkers, the answer was an emphatic "no," and so cosmic pluralism - the idea that every world is inhabited, often including the Sun - was born. And this was no fringe theory. Many of the preeminent astronomers of the 18th and 19th century, including Uranus discoverer Sir William Herschel, believed in it wholeheartedly, as did other legendary thinkers like John Locke and Benjamin Franklin. How could so many geniuses believe in something so silly?

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Holy Town

Do you love GOD? Ever wondered what it would be like to start your own Church and bring more people to GOD? Well find out in Facebook's first Christian game, Holy Town!

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Making Money in Nigeria

God is good, especially if you’re a Nigerian pastor with some business savvy. These days, millions of souls, desperate for financial breakthroughs, miracles and healing, all rush to the church for redemption. And while the bible expressly states that salvation is free, at times it comes with a cost: offerings, tithes, gifts to spiritual leaders, and a directive to buy literature and other products created by men of God.

Pastors are no longer solely interested in getting people to Heaven; they’ve devised intelligent ways to make good money while reaching out to souls.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Did Jesus die for Klingons too?

What would the discovery of an alien civilization mean for the most basic tenets of Christianity? This question was explored last Saturday at the 100 Year Starship Symposium in Orlando, Florida.

At this DARPA-sponsored event, theologian Christian Weidemann of Ruhr-University Bochum attempted to square the messianic salvation of mankind with an endless galaxy rife with laser-griffins and sentient mop empires.

Monday, November 07, 2011

Workcamp in Haiti

Dates of Jan. 29-Feb. 5, 2012, have been set for the next workcamp in Haiti sponsored by Brethren Disaster Ministries working with the Haitian Church of the Brethren (L'Èglise des Frères Haitiens). Participants will rebuild homes in Port-au-Prince and outlying villages that have received displaced survivors of the 2010 earthquake, will help complete the guesthouse at the new church offices, and will worship with Haitian brothers and sisters. Leaders are Ilexene Alphonse and Klebert Exceus. Cost is $800, which includes all expenses while in Haiti such as meals, lodging, in-country transportation, travel insurance, and $50 toward building supplies. Participants purchase their own round-trip transportation from home to Port-au-Prince. The deadline for registration and a $300 deposit is Dec. 31. More information is at

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Friday, October 28, 2011

Crunchy, Crunchy!

Do you need a new song for your bus? Songs are an important part of a bus program.

Here are the lyrics to the ever-popular Potato Chip, Peanut Butter:
Potato chip, potato chip.
Crunchy, crunchy!
I love Jesus a bunchy, bunchy!
Peanut butter, peanut butter.
Creamy, creamy!
I hate the devil, he’s a meany, meany! 
And here's He's a Peach of a Savior:
He’s a peach of a Savior,
He’s the apple of my eye.
He prunes back my branches,
When my branches get too high.
He bears His fruit in season,
And His love will never die.
And that’s why I’m bananas for the Lord!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Got Jesus?

A Cincinnati high school football coach angrily confronted the opposing student rooting section in response to the fans’ chants of “We’ve got Jesus!” immediately following their game on Friday. Tom Bolden, head coach of Cincinnati (Ohio) Colerain, reacted with fury at the chant by fans of inner-city rival St. Xavier Catholic following St. Xavier’s 17-14 win.

According to the Enquirer, the St. Xavier chant came in response to an earlier chant by the Colerain student section of “We’ve got girls!” Xavier is an all-male, Jesuit school.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

What Would Jesus Play?

A Maryland woman said she was surprised to find what appears to be an image of Jesus Christ on the top of a used Nintendo Entertainment System she purchased on eBay for $31.

“We were inspecting it for cracks/damage and when we turned it just right into the light, the image showed up,” she said. “Our reaction was mainly curiousity at first. Then as we looked at it closer and ruled out what it couldn’t be, we began to get excited about it.”

While Wampler dismissed the possibility that this was done as some sort of a joke (she also says she didn't create the image), she isn't exactly sure she believes it is the result of some higher power either.

Friday, October 14, 2011

B I N G O [October 2011]

It's Board meeting time again; here's the latest Buzzword Bingo.

If you're not happy with the sheet that you're initially presented, click Reload until you get a card that looks like a winner.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Stewardship of Shaky Ground

It's marvelous that the Church of the Brethren Outdoor Ministries supports the total ministry of the church including education, evangelism, peace education, and stewardship of all resources. But a bit sad when a COB group can't find a place to meet at a COB Camp. But then, if you're going to scoff at stewardship of your resources, maybe you're just looking for a naturally pleasing environment.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Friday, October 07, 2011

Losing Your Religion

The Gruen Transfer is an Australian television show that focuses on advertising. One of their regular segments is called “The Pitch,” where “ad agencies compete to sell the unsellable.”