Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Let Jesus Take the Wheel
There is no biblical evidence that Jesus even knew how to parallel park.

Letting him take the wheel seems a bit irresponsible.

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

ISIS Won't Destroy the Earth

With the Supreme Court expected to rule on the legality of same-sex marriage in June, an End Times broadcaster served a chilling warning that legalization of gay marriage may prompt God to send a “fireball from space” in retaliation.

According to Right Wing Watch, Rick Wiles had very bad news for Mat Staver of Liberty Counsel on his “Trunews” program yesterday, saying “If the Supreme Court dares to defy Almighty God one more time, I’m telling you it will be the last time.”

“I believe I am speaking under the unction of the Holy Spirit,” Wiles explained in a perfectly reasonable tone. “I’m telling you there will be swift, sudden and devastating consequences for the United States of America. America will be brought to its knees, there will be pain and suffering at a level we’ve never seen in this country.”

“The word that I hear in my spirit is ‘fire.’ I do not know if it refers to riots or looting or war on American soil or a fireball from space. I simply know that a sweeping, consuming fire will come across the United States of America and this country will be charred and burned.”

Wiles added that gay marriage will likely be the final straw with God who is also displeased with the entire world where “everywhere communism takes control, they go after the churches and they kill the pastors and they demolish the church buildings and they reeducate the church children. That’s what’s coming to America. It’s already started.”

Monday, June 08, 2015

Saturday, June 06, 2015

Jesus Christ Files Lawsuit Against GOP

Jesus Christ filed a lawsuit today in the New York Supreme Court against the Republican National Committee for what he is calling “egregious misrepresentation of his statements and image.”

One of the attorneys representing Christ had this to say:

“For years Republicans have proclaimed their love for and loyalty to Jesus, yet their actions are highly contradictory to what Mr. Christ preached. Instead of helping the poor and the sick GOP instead punishes the poor and the sickly.

Our client isn’t telling the GOP what their agenda should be, he simply wants them to stop using his name when their actions contradict everything he stood for.