Thursday, January 22, 2015

Why 2014's God Movies Were So Bad
This year, Jesus, Noah, and Moses all had starring roles in major films. But despite the Hollywood's new fixation on religion, the Almighty still proves difficult capture. In all the major religion-related films that came out in 2014, God got just one cameo: Isaac Andrews played a rather obnoxious version of the Almighty in Exodus: Gods and Kings.

Nonetheless, God played major roles in films ranging from the Biblical epic Noah to the apocalyptic Left Behind and the polemical God's Not Dead, causing floods and raptures and existential crises in university students from far off set. Plus, Jesus got lots of screen time, portrayed in Heaven Is for Real as a white guy on a horse and in Son of God as a white guy with an undeniably smarmy smile.

Some of these movies were big hits at the box office. Noah grossed $101 million and Heaven Is for Real hit $91 million, while God's Not Dead and Son of God both netted roughly $60 million. Exodus was cinematographically beautiful, despite its ridiculous script and casting, and Left Behind featured such venerable actors as Nicolas Cage and Chad Michael Murray.Despite their varying levels of success, these films all share one quality: They're culturally awkward.

Monday, January 12, 2015

In Michigan, St. Andre Bessette Church Festival attendees were "shocked" to see the face of Jesus in a pierogi. According to a UPI report, they're keeping the pierogi in a freezer for now.

Friday, January 02, 2015

REVELATION: tl;dr edition
John: When Jesus comes back, there will be no more people who do the things. In the meantime, stop doing the things.