Thursday, March 26, 2009

Helping those who are unable to pray as frequently as they would like.

Promotional Rates for New Users, Limited Time Only!

Information Age Prayer is a subscription service utilizing a computer with text-to-speech capability to incant your prayers each day. It gives you the satisfaction of knowing that your prayers will always be said even if you wake up late, or forget.
We use state of the art text to speech synthesizers to voice each prayer at a volume and speed equivalent to typical person praying. Each prayer is voiced individually, with the name of the subscriber displayed on screen.

At Information Age Prayer we think our service should be used like a prayer supplement, to extend and strengthen a subscriber's connection with God. Traditional prayer is an integral part of this connection and should never be forgone, even after signing up.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Saturday, March 21, 2009

This Ain't Kosher

Low Sodium

Retired barber Joe Godlewski says that when television chefs recommended kosher salt in recipes, he wondered, “What the heck's the matter with Christian salt?”

His trademarked Blessed Christians Salt is available from seasonings manufacturer Ingredients Corporation of America. It's sea salt that's been blessed by an Episcopal priest.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Sacrilage

No More Bacon!?


It's a song about a bleak dystopian future.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

The Bible Says So

What's a good price to sell my daughter into slavery?

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

WWJS?

Who Would Jesus Spank?

If Jesus were married and had children, would he have spanked the children?

The place that to go to help a person see what he would do is Matthew 5 where he said, "Not a jot nor a tittle will pass away from the Law until all is accomplished." In other words, all the Law and the Prophets stand until they're done. And the Law says, "Spare the rod, spoil the child." That's a paraphrase. The book of Proverbs says, "If you withhold the rod, you hate your son." Jesus believed the Bible, and he would have done it.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Animated Chick

Somebody Goofed



Rodney Ascher, The Director's Bureau & Syd Garon,
BOB Industries 8:30 min. / color
Jack Chick's compelling fable brought to life via the wonders of animation.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Bailout Bingo [March 2009]

M&M Board Buzzword Bingo


Things are tough everywhere and the mood's going to be grim. If this weekend's Board Meetings have any silver lining, it's the stimulus package known as Buzzword Bingo.

If you're not happy with the sheet that you're initially presented, click Reload until you get a card that looks like a winner.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Never Enough

Too Much?



Why is it as tall as it is? Because they couldn't build it bigger.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Juniata Plus Eight

Eagles Cherishing Upset Win

Juniata College is still basking in its volleyball team's stunning victory over Ohio State on Wednesday.

The Eagles went into the match 1-21 all-time against Ohio State, but sent the Buckeyes home from the Kennedy Sports and Recreation Center with a 3-2 loss. Set scores for Juniata were 28-30, 30-23, 30-28, 27-30, and 15-12.

The win over Ohio State, ranked 13th in last week's Bison/AVCA Division I-II poll and an NCAA tournament national semifinalist a year ago, was Juniata's (9-4) second over a Division I-II ranked team in the last two weeks.

Juniata returns to action Tuesday, when it faces the University of the Pacific in Stockton, Calif.

Monday, March 09, 2009

Salvation

How Do I Get Into Heaven?


You must be this wide to get into heaven

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Who Is Better?

Jesus vs the Devil

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, ‘That's it! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job.’

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.

They moused.

They faxed.

They e-mailed.

They e-mailed with attachments.

They downloaded.

They did spreadsheets!

They wrote reports.

They created labels and cards.

They created charts and graphs.

They did some genealogy reports .

They did every job known to man.

Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.

Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off.

Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.

Jesus just sighed.

Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming:

‘It’s gone! It’s all GONE! ‘I lost everything when the power went out!’

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work.

Satan observed this and became irate.

‘Wait!’ he screamed. ‘That’s not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don’t have any?’

God just shrugged and said...

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

We Whiten and Brighten

Nine out of Ten Brethren Agree

Some Americans are more loyal to their toothpaste or toilet paper than to their religious denomination, making those consumers more choosy about Charmin or Colgate than they are about church, according to a new survey.

According to a Phoenix-based research firm, 16% of Protestants say they would consider only one denomination, while 22% of them would use only one brand of toothpaste and 19% would use just one brand of bathroom tissue.

Still, denominations do have some competitive advantage. The 16% figure for denominational loyalty was higher than consumers' loyalty to a particular brand of athletic shoe, department store, major appliance, light bulb and numerous other products, according to the study.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Monday, March 02, 2009

Why Can't We Just Get Along?

Wait, What Am I Voting For?

Most Americans say they are familiar with creationism and evolution, but recent polling suggests that there is some confusion about the meaning of these terms. In one poll, 58% of the public said that creationism was definitely or probably true as an explanation for the origin and development of life, but about the same number also said the same about evolution. Since creationism and evolution are incompatible as explanations, some portion of the public is clearly confused about the meaning of the terms.

Another poll of registered voters offered respondents the explicit option to say that both Darwin's theory of evolution and the biblical account of creation were true: 26% said both were. More recently, a July 2005 Pew Research Center poll found that a substantial 35% minority of those who accept creationist accounts of life's origins nonetheless oppose removing the teaching of evolution in public schools in favor of teaching creationism; 14% of those who accepted natural selection favored teaching creationism instead of evolution.