Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Friday, October 22, 2010

A Small Price to Pay

Eternal Earth-Bound Pets

We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you've received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.

We are currently active in 24 states. Our representatives have been screened to ensure that they are atheists, animal lovers, are moral / ethical with no criminal background, have the ability and desire to rescue your pet and the means to retrieve them and ensure their care for your pet's natural life.

Our service is plain and simple; our fee structure is reasonable.

We will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved. Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged and feathered friends.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Sunday, October 17, 2010

More Than One?

How Many?

Two Dunkers and a neo-Jungian psychoanalyst are having an e-mail conversation about postmodernity and one Dunker cracks a joke that gets the other Dunker thinking.

The question: How many post-Christendom theologians does it take to change a light bulb?
  • None. Its not a task for theologians, stupid! Changing lightbulbs is the missional responsibility of the hermeneutical community of faithful disciples who gather in non-violent humility to light up cities with their good deeds (Matt 5:14).
    --Chris Marshall, associate professor of theology and restorative justice, Victoria University of Wellington (New Zealand)

  • No theologians are needed, but a community of believers who think and change light bulbs theologically, which is to say Christologically, I mean eschatologically, sorry doxologically, no harmartologically, and...wait...where's the bulb?
    --Christian Early, associate professor of philosophy and theology, Bible and Religion Dept., EMU

  • First, they would say you are asking the wrong question. Instead, focus on the reason the light went out. i.e., "How many post-Christendom theologians does it take to bring light where the light went out?" Then you will get answers like, "Many, to redesign the electrical system and the building, or perhaps tear the building down aand rebuild the city."
    --Valerie Luna Serrels, MA student at EMU's Center for Justice and Peacebuilding

  • It all depends on what you mean by "change."
    --Ted Grimsrud, professor of theology, Bible and Religion Dept., EMU

  • Two. One to criticize the Enlightenment and the Industrial Revolution that produced it, and the other to urge the Church to never forget its craft of being Church as they change lightbulbs in the world. (The lightbulb doesn't get changed. This pleases the theologians.)
    --Brian Gumm

  • Four. One to change the lightbulb and three to celebrate the Eucharist, which is the condition of possibility of lightbulb-changing.
    --James K.A. Smith, professor of philosophy, Calvin College

Saturday, October 16, 2010

B I N G O [October 2010]

Buzzword Bingo of Deepest Concern

It's Board meeting time again; here's the latest Buzzword Bingo.

If you're not happy with the sheet that you're initially presented, click Reload until you get a card that looks like a winner.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Faith Healer or Kung Fu Master?


Total knock-downs: 79
Most knock-downs per minute: 18 (minute 4)
Least knock-downs per minute:0 (minutes 13 and 14)
Average/mean knock-downs per minute: 5.27
Median knock-downs per minute: 9.5

Monday, October 11, 2010

Sunday, October 10, 2010

What A Wonderful World It Would Be

Don't Know Much About Religion

A new survey of Americans' knowledge of religion found that atheists, agnostics, Jews and Mormons outperformed Protestants and Roman Catholics in answering questions about major religions, while many respondents could not correctly give the most basic tenets of their own faiths.

Forty-five percent of Roman Catholics who participated in the study didn't know that, according to church teaching, the bread and wine used in Holy Communion is not just a symbol, but becomes the body and blood of Christ. More than half of Protestants could not identify Martin Luther as the person who inspired the Protestant Reformation. And about four in 10 Jews did not know that Maimonides, one of the greatest rabbis and intellectuals in history, was Jewish.

The survey released by the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life aimed to test a broad range of religious knowledge, including understanding of the Bible, core teachings of different faiths and major figures in religious history. The U.S. is one of the most religious countries in the developed world, especially compared to largely secular Western Europe, but faith leaders and educators have long lamented that Americans still know relatively little about religion.

Don't know much about history
Don't know much biology
Don't know much about a science book
Don't know much about the french I took
But I do know that I love you
And I know that if you love me too
What a wonderful world this would be...

Saturday, October 09, 2010

Reexamining the Trinity

New Evidence Suggests God Also Had Daughter

In a discovery that biblical scholars say could alter our most fundamental understanding of Christianity, recently unearthed manuscripts suggest that in addition to His Son, Jesus Christ, God also had a daughter.

The documents, found in a cave near the Jordanian-Israeli border and estimated to have been composed circa A.D. 200, recount the life, teachings, and death of Jesus' twin sister, Tammi of Nazareth. According to experts, the revelation points to a more dualistic conception of the divine, one with the male principle embodied in Jesus and the female principle represented by Tammi.

"It's a monumental shift," said Boston College religion professor Paul Ferber, claiming that the newly discovered texts are more significant than the Gospel of Judas or the Dead Sea Scrolls. "Tammi has single-handedly undercut the male hegemony we've come to associate with the Christian faith, and added an important new dimension to the holy scripture."

Thursday, October 07, 2010

Mr Faith Head

His Heart is Always in the Right Place

Mr. Potato Head’s other parts might get mixed up, but his heart is always in the right place! Meet Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head, the endearing potato pals that have captured the hearts, imaginations and laughter of kids for generations.

Sunday, October 03, 2010


Buy Me Some Peanuts

Homeland Security officials tell us that there have been at least 32 attempted terrorist attacks against U.S. citizens since 9/11, all of which have failed. Why have we been kept safe from the kind of wholesale slaughter we experienced on 9/11?

Think back to the days immediately following 9/11. Almost immediately a new American tradition was created in major league ballparks, in which a portion of the 7th inning stretch was devoted to the singing of that “God Bless America” by the entire crowd.

The singing of this anthem has been a staple since 9/11 in virtually every major league baseball stadium, and, inspired by baseball’s example, is now a consistent part of pregame festivities at NFL games and NBA games, as well as college football and basketball games.

The significance here is that “God Bless America” is not just a collection of words, not just a song, not just a memorable melody. What is significant here is that “God Bless America” is a prayer.

America has become safe because sports fans, who would rather go to a game on Sunday than church, taking 1 minute of their time to sing “God Bless America.” God appreciates our “sacrifice” of worship.

Friday, October 01, 2010