Friday, December 20, 2013

Proof of Evolution Being a Hoax

This is a complete list of the scientific evidence of evolution being a hoax.


Thursday, December 19, 2013


The Christian-Lutheran Feminist/Womanist/Mujerista Movements exist to celebrate the feminine persona of God/dess and dimensions of the sacred as expressed in faith, worship, learning, mutual care, and acts of justice.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

God Admits He Never Created Gerbils

Lord God, He Who Commanded Light to Shine out of Darkness told reporters this Wednesday that despite creating all other forms of life in the universe, He in fact had nothing to do with creating gerbils. “I just wanted everyone to know that I have absolutely no idea where gerbils came from; they just showed up a few million years ago and started reproducing,” admitted God, the Divine Creator of Life, Heaven, Earth, and the rest of the order of Rodentia, but not gerbils.

Sunday, December 15, 2013


This past summer, the first cartoon series produced in Pakistan introduced a new superhero called the Burka Avenger, a schoolteacher fighting crime and protecting girls' education. Now Marvel comics has stepped up with a brand new superhero series—Kamala Khan, will be taking on the mantle of Ms. Marvel now that her personal hero, Carol Danvers, has traded the moniker in for the title of Captain Marvel.

Friday, December 13, 2013

Communion on Tap

To stave off decline, some churches attract new members with beer. With mainline religious congregations dwindling across America, a scattering of churches is trying to attract new members by creating a different sort of Christian community. They are gathering around craft beer.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Celebrate Simply

This handcrafted set made of beech is a contemporary version of the Nativity scene. Modelled on the classical religious set-up, the figurines take place around the crib. The characters have lost their features and colours for a modern appearance that could appeal both believers and atheists. The holy scene that has been broadly reproduced is here recognizable by the names only, giving free rein to people's imagination.

Friday, December 06, 2013

Reasons Why Being a Male Pastor is Better

Like all the advantages of being white and male in North America, there are advantages when it comes to being an ordained pastor. Here are some of the obvious ones:
  1. No one ever defines my ministry by my gender. No one says, “wow a male pastor or a man in ministry, good for you.” I always get to be just a pastor. I don’t have to constantly live with a qualifier in front of “pastor”, and I am not forced to bear someone’s inappropriate shock that I am my gender and I am a pastor.
  2. People expect me to be direct and tell them what I think. They want me to lead them somewhere. I am rarely challenged or expected to defend or make a case for my ideas. I don’t have to apologize for having strong opinions or constantly defend my ideas.
  3. People think twice about fighting with me. I always have a leg up in conflict, bullies find it harder to push my buttons because I have fewer to push. I am never automatically second class because of my gender, so conflict is on equal terms or tipped in my favour. I don’t have to suffer being called “boy” or “son” as way of dismissing my point of view, and I am not accused of being divisive if I disagree with something or anything.
  4. People are used to pastors of my gender. There are no congregations that are unsure of male candidates for ministry, no parishioners who think it is alright to say something like, “I will never be buried by a man.” I don’t have to endure questions about whether I will take paternity leave, or what will happen when I have kids.
  5. People almost never assume that I have a particular gift for ministry before they know me. They don’t automatically think that my gender is suited to particular areas of ministry like preaching or administration. No one assumes that I am not good at pastoral care or being nurturing. People don’t say that I have the gift of speaking with a voice that men can relate to.
  6. I don’t have to worry about my safety. I don’t think twice about being alone in the church or if I am safe on my own. If a man asks to meet with me one on one, I don’t have to question my physical safety or his motives. Men don’t try to share the peace with me by hugging me (or grabbing my ass).
  7. No one assumes that I am the church secretary or the pastor’s spouse. I am never told, “You don’t look like a pastor or you are took young to be a pastor” even thought I am built like a football player and at times have had long hair and a beard like a hell’s angel. And I have a tattoo. And I am 30 (two decades younger than the average age of pastors in our denomination).
  8. Churches are built for men. Pulpits, altars, pastor chairs, vestments are all designed my size and body type in mind. I don’t look ridiculous because the standard garb of my profession is made for my gender, and I don’t look like a cross dresser in a clergy shirt.
  9. All the pronouns are for my gender. God is a he. Jesus is a he. Pastors are almost always referred to as he or him or his. I don’t have to correct people because they never use the wrong pronoun to refer to me.
  10. Being male is the norm in the church. I didn’t have to take classes in seminary about men’s issues, there is no post-modern male theology, male pastors where never brought in to speak about being male pastors as if it was special or odd or a novelty.
  11. I could join the Old Boys Club if I wanted to. Leadership in the church is still overwhelmingly male, and there are no glass ceilings for male pastors in the church. No one pretends it is, “all in good fun” to make sexist jokes about my gender, and none of my colleagues treats me like I am second class because of my gender.
  12. I don’t have to walk on egg shells in ecumenical situations. I don’t have to justify my position and call to my conservative colleagues, because they all have male pastors in their denominations. I am not an oddity or the token male at ministerial events.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Separated at Birth?

Which logo came first?

Womaen’s Caucus is a network of feminist women and men who identify with the Church of the Brethren.

The Commission on the Status of Women is a functional commission of the United Nations Economic and Social Council (ECOSOC).

Monday, November 18, 2013

Sharing is Caring

Can the gospel of file sharing really be recognized as a religion? In Sweden it can.

In the midst of a worldwide debate about Internet piracy, Swedish authorities have granted official religious status to the Church of Kopimism, which claims it considers CTRL+C and CTRL+V (shortcuts for copy and paste) to be sacred symbols, and that information is holy and copying is a sacrament.

The church was founded by philosophy student Isak Gerson, who is also the self-appointed spiritual leader of the movement. [...]

The blog Torrent Freak reports that membership in the church has grown from 1,000 to 3,000 in the last six months, and the founders expect more people to join now that its religious status is making a splash on the Internet.

“Being recognized by the state of Sweden is a large step for Kopimi,” said Gerson. “Hopefully this is one step towards the day when we can live out our faith without fear of persecution.”

Thursday, November 07, 2013

Is Superman the Antichrist?

Warner Bros. hired a Christian marketing company to pitch The Man of Steel to churches, on the grounds that this was really a movie about Jesus. And apparently, this strategy has backfired, somewhat. As in, people are calling Superman "the Antichrist."

Sometimes pandering to religious groups — or trying to manipulate them into promoting your movie for you, depending on how you look at it — can backfire. According to the Washington Post, a number of pastors who got roped into seeing Man of Steel weren't happy afterwards:
“[Superman] is the anti-Christ,” as the Rev. Thomas Reese, a Jesuit priest and commentator for National Catholic Reporter, tweeted after he saw the movie. In “Man of Steel,” Reese wrote, “Superpowers, not love, conquers (sic) evil. Bash the bad guy, don’t turn cheek.”
Or as Jackson Cuidon put it in his “Man of Steel” review in Christianity Today, a leading evangelical magazine: “Superman ... is there mostly to satiate that part of the American psyche that wants their messiahs to punch things, too.”

Saturday, November 02, 2013

God Reveals He Occasionally Eats Humans

Speaking candidly during a rare interview, God Almighty, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, revealed to the public that He occasionally eats human beings.

The Supreme Being, who spoke to reporters about His dietary habits, said that Homo sapiens don’t comprise a regular part of His food consumption, but noted that every once in a while He “feels like eating a human” and will then pick one out from earth and eat the person alive.

Friday, October 18, 2013

All Essential Bingo Will Remain Open

It's Board meeting time again; here's your latest Buzzword Bingo.

If you're not happy with the sheet that you're initially presented, click Reload until you get a card that looks like a winner.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Church Promotes Chainsaw Juggling Ministry

Eastside Christian Assembly, is a church that truly believes that all members are called to serve. The large suburban church of almost 5,000 encourages every member to use his or her gifts for the edification of the body and building up of the matter how unique or bizzare.

Like most churches, in the early years of ECA there were only a handful of ministries, such as Teaching, Administration, Worship and Music. But as the church grew, and more and more members wanted to serve, the church began adding other official "ministries." Some of them include;

-Hand puppet ministry
-Fish tank cleaning ministry
-Football ministry
-Football watching ministry

The most recent addition came when new member, Steve Cowell presented his unique and dangerous talent to the church's leadership.

"I juggle chainsaws," said Cowell. "I perform shows all over the country, and for private parties, but I really feel called to serve in the church."

When Cowell approached the pastor and elders about where he could serve, they quickly surmised that they needed to form a new ministry department.

"We are excited about what Steve is going to bring to our church," stated Donnen. "His chainsaw weilding will no doubt build up the Kingdom. We also intend to involve him in our Sunday morning worship sometime, perhaps having him perform during the offertory, or accompany my preaching as an object lesson. I think it would go well with a judgement passage or something pretty forceful."

When asked how long Cowell had been performing, he stated "Ten years now," while holding up his seven remaining fingers."

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Just Say No



"When you dress like that it’s like putting a steak in front of a dog; what do you expect?"
Peanut butter is basically my dog’s favorite thing in the world.
You know why she’s not even touching it?
I said “no.”
"When you dress like that it’s like putting a steak in front of a dog; what do you expect?"
Peanut butter is basically my dog’s favorite thing in the world.

You know why she’s not even touching it?

I said “no.”