Sunday, February 28, 2010

Please Touch the Attendance Register

Advances In Church Attendance Monitoring

A Polish priest has installed an electronic reader in his church for schoolchildren to leave their fingerprints in order to monitor their attendance at mass, the Gazeta Wyborcza daily said on Friday.

The pupils will mark their fingerprints every time they go to church over three years and if they attend 200 masses they will be freed from the obligation of having to pass an exam prior to their confirmation, the paper said.

The pupils in the southern town of Gryfow Slaski told the daily they liked the idea and also the priest, Grzegorz Sowa, who invented it.

"This is comfortable. We don't have to stand in a line to get the priest's signature (confirming our presence at the mass) in our confirmation notebooks," said one pupil.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Xtreme Church

Where Faith Collides

Xtreme Ministries is a small church near Nashville that doubles as a mixed martial arts academy. Mr. Renken, who founded the church and academy, doubles as the team’s coach. The school’s motto is “Where Feet, Fist and Faith Collide.”

Friday, February 26, 2010

How May I Direct Your Call?

New Hotline Gives Easy, Direct Access to Ministers

Non-profit organization the Bless Me Network launched the new service to fill "the need for convenient and direct access to clergy," according to an announcement Wednesday.

"We feel that in this modern day, individuals are losing touch with their church due to inconvenience and lack of time and accessibility," the organization states.

The new service is intended to "redefine the parameters by which the church and its community have mutual access" and "help foster and redevelop the relationship between these two."

Crisis hotlines for suicide, abuse or depression have been in existence for decades. Some Christian groups, including Focus on the Family and Pat Robertson's The 700 Club, offer counseling over the phone. But the Bless Me Network touts its new call-in service as the first of its kind for the Christian community.

The number (1-888-9-BLESSME) is toll free but those who want to be connected to a priest or an ordained minister must pay a fee. Half of the earnings will be directed to clergy, church, charity and humanitarian aid over the next five years, founders of the call-in service said.

FOR PURPOSES OF OUR RESPONSIBILITY UNDER THE LAW THIS SERVICE IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Threat Level: Rainbow

Threat to Marriage

Over the past decade or so, divorce has gradually become more uncommon in the United States. Since 2003, however, the decline in divorce rates has been largely confined to states which have not passed a state constitutional ban on gay marriage. These states saw their divorce rates decrease by an average of 8 percent between 2003 and 2008. States which had passed a same-sex marriage ban as of January 1, 2008, however, saw their divorce rates rise by about 1 percent over the same period.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Saturday, February 20, 2010

There’s no finish line.

Choosing My Religion



No one ever says anything perfect
Though it surely seems like it sometimes.
Some of what they told me was true
But some of it was lies
So I’m choosing my religion.

It’s not hard to begin and you don’t need to finish,
It just goes on and on.
It changes every moment of every single day,
And it helps me never to stop before I’m tired.

Stitched together, patchwork, piece-meal,
From Steinbeck, Mason and Harper Lee of course,
But saying that you don’t have to be a genius to add to it.
More or less anyone can toss their coin in the cup
And you can bet your lungs
The goal is always the same

To keep you all happy, you and everyone who isn’t listening.
To keep my head in the clouds and my feet on the precious ground
And it helps me always to try, and not care if I should fail

It just goes on forever,
And gets better and better,
There’s no finish line.

Some mornings I wake up and get out of bed take a look around and I see nothing but snakes,
And I think to myself ‘what the hell am I gonna do’
But if I squint my eyes really tight up into my face I can see the ladders
They’re poking through!

The truth is out there and so is the lie
You can find out which is which if you try
And you try, and not care if you fail,
Just tie another reef in the sail,
And keep one eye on the snakes while simultaneously
Keeping your aim on the first rung of the ladder
You’re in it, you’re choosing your religion
Don’t stop now it’s just the beginning,
And there’s no finish line in here,

You’re choosing

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Monday, February 15, 2010

Numa Numa

Pneuma Pneuma

NYC will be here before you know it and you’ll have lots of choices to make. Which workshops do I go to? Which late evening activities will I attend? Do we sit on the floor in worship or the bleachers? (definitely the floor!) You also have several choices to make when you register: will I go hiking? Will I help with a service project? Should I sing in the choir? One question you might not have heard is “Will I participate in the Numa Numa Challenge?” New to NYC this year, the Numa Numa Challenge is happening Sunday afternoon from 3pm to 5pm (during recreation time).

By following clues around the CSU campus and completing challenges, you and your friends will have the opportunity to learn more about “Numa Numa.” In Ancient Greek, it means breath, wind, Spirit of God. You’ll be challenged to touch, feel, and maybe even taste the Spirit. You’ll think about God in new and different ways and experience these challenges together with your teammates. You’ll have a lot of fun going from place to place and of course, showing off your Numa Numa Challenge t-shirt. Are you ready to be challenged?

More information about the Numa Numa Challenge and how to register will be in your registration packets which you receive after you pay your deposit.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Just Being Shellfish

God Hates Shrimp

Shrimp, crab, lobster, clams, mussels, all these are an abomination before the Lord, just as gays are an abomination. Why stop at protesting gay marriage? Bring all of God's law unto the heathens and the sodomites. We call upon all Christians to join the crusade against Long John Silver's and Red Lobster. Yea, even Popeye's shall be cleansed. The name of Bubba shall be anathema. We must stop the unbelievers from destroying the sanctity of our restaurants.

Friday, February 05, 2010

Thursday, February 04, 2010

Back in the Closet

Once or Twice—Everybody Has

At first glance, high school senior Lucas Faber, 18, seems like any ordinary gay teen. He's a member of his school's swing choir, enjoys shopping at the mall, and has sex with other males his age. But lately, a growing worry has begun to plague this young gay man. A gnawing feeling that, deep down, he may be a fundamentalist, right-wing Christian.

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

OMG TTYL

Text Without Ceasing

Youth Pastor Chad Talbot of Oceanside Baptist Church has discovered an inventive way to get his youth to communicate much more frequently with God: texting. In fact the youth group's new slogan is simply, "TEXT WITHOUT CEASING!"

According to Chad, "I could tell that most kids in the youth were not spending much of any time in prayer. The truth is that the quiet nature of traditional prayer is just too slow, too silent, and too un-technological to appeal to this generation. Instead of complaining about that, I figured that we should go with it. Since every kid these days likes to text, why not encourage them to do so?"

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

It's the End of the World

2012 Annual Conference Cruise

As affordable sites for Annual Conference , by frugal Brethren standards, become harder to book, the Summer of 2012 will be the testing grounds (testing seas?) for a new model for the annual meeting.

Literally hundreds of ministries around America and the world have annual ministry cruises usually to exotic places around North and South America with a few to Europe and Asia. After putting together a list of various tours and dates the Conference Office came up with enough cruises to fill almost an entire year.