Sunday, June 29, 2003

Annunal Conference Buzzword Bingo

Just in time for Boise... Click here to get your Brethren buzzword bingo card.

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Thursday, June 26, 2003

Clock's Ticking on Takeover Bid

The Mennonite's hostile takeover bid for its rival Church of the Brethren denomination will expire July 7, but the Mennonite Church expects to extend the offer, according to the formal offer filed Monday with the NCC.

The Mennonite Church stunned the religious community on Friday when it launched a $5.1 billion hostile bid for the Church of the Brethren, only a few days before the Brethren's Annual Conference is to take place in Boise.

According to the new filing, on June 20, 2002, The Mennonite Church and the Church of the Brethren entered into negotiations at the Church of the Brethren's bequest "concerning the possibility of combining the congregations of the two denominations." The discussion was "general in nature" and no valuation was discussed. But a few days later the denominations concluded they couldn't come to a mutually agreeable decision, and the matter was dropped, the Mennonite Church filing states.

On Friday, the Mennonites sent a letter to the Church of the Brethren's General Board, telling them about the takeover bid. The Mennonite Church says the General Board has not yet approved the offer or otherwise commented on it as of the date of the offer to purchase.

But the Church of the Brethren's General Secretary characterized the offer as "a transparent attempt" to disrupt The Church of the Brethren.

The Mennonite Church said in its filing that it has $6 billion in cash on hand, more than enough to cover the terms of initial deal. But it has arranged for a $5 billion revolving credit facility with Credit Suisse First Boston, which it would also draw on to pay shareholders.

The Mennonite Church can back out of the offer if another bid is made for the Church of the Brethren, the filing states. There has been much speculation that another religious rival could make a bid for the company, with Quaker, Presbyterian and Methodist denominations all listed by industry observers as possible bidders.

If the merger is completed, the Mennonite Church will be "providing enhanced and extended support for (the Church of the Brethren's) congregations, incorporating advanced features from the denomination's programs," the Mennonite Church states.

The merger would definitely boost the Mennonite Church's share of the peace church market, leaving only the Quakers (Friends) as the sole other historic peace church. The Mennonite denomination said in the filing that it does not anticipate any problems with antitrust issues.

The acquisition would technically be conducted through a special purchasing firm, Pepper Acquisition, a subsidiary of Oracle.

Sunday, June 22, 2003

Oil for Peace

The strapped for cash General Board has announced that is in the early stages of negotiations to sell the oil rights to it's New Windsor and Elgin properties. The income garnered from the deal could help restore much of the programs that have been reduced due to a lack of funds. Ironically, the Board will not be examining the environmental impact in any great detail because of its recent, drastic cut backs to the Brethren Witness Office.
Man Does Not Live On Bread Alone...

...he needs apple butter. In Boise this summer, conference goers can try an alternative. At the BRF display they'll be able to try some apple margarine with their bread.

Sunday, June 15, 2003

Sometimes Lebanon Baloney is Just Baloney

The General Board, after much analysis, has announced that Walt Wiltcheck has been appointed to the new position of Brethren Id-Entity. It will be Wiltscheck's job to report on what the Brethren are doing. At the same time, Jim Myer was appointed to the new position of Brethren Super-Ego-Entity. It will be Myer's job to inform the Brethren what they should be doing. The existing position of Brethren Ego-Entity will continue unchanged.

Sunday, June 08, 2003

BVS Reloaded

It seems that Paul "Neo" Grout is preaching not only from the Gospel, but also from "Simulacra and Simulation". Grout's fascination with The Matrix is evident in the fact that BVS Unit 254 was scheduled to begin shortly after the release of The Matrix Reloaded, the second of the movie trilogy. Grout has embraced the movies' Christian touches as much more than pseudophilosophical pastiche. Somebody be sure to check the back of the heads of those new volunteers for cable connections.Please Click Here if an image is not displayed.

Saturday, June 07, 2003

Can You Handle The Truth?
Can you handle the truth? If not, then try the Gospel Messenger's version. And please take some time to check out the new store link at the top of this page. Thanks for reading.
McPherson's Football in Jeopardy

A gambling scandal has rocked McPherson, news sources reported this week. While the scandal may have repercussions for the McPherson College's recruiting, they can always fall back on the PR they garner from their ties to the Tonight Show's Jay Leno.
Free Bats

The Outdoor Ministries Association has free baseball bats available to any church camp that would like to receive a supply. An anonymous donor from the Illinois-Wisconsin district has donated a large supply of bats. These bats are amazingly light and it should be easy to have your campers hitting home runs in no time. They will even float in the pool.
Staffing Changes

The Gospel Messenger would like to welcome Howell Raines and Gerald Boyd to our staff. Their committment to accurate reporting fits in perfectly with our standards of journalism.

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