Sunday, August 29, 2010

perplexing on multiple fronts

Eons Of Darwinian Evolution Somehow Produce Mitch

The process of evolution, through which single-celled organisms slowly developed over billions of years into exponentially more sophisticated forms of life, has inexplicably culminated in local Albuquerque resident Mitch Szabo, leading evolutionary biologists reported.

According to baffled sources within the scientific community, the exact same mechanisms responsible for some of nature's most spectacularly ingenious adaptations have apparently also produced a 35-year-old office assistant who has only worn pants that actually fit him a total of five times in his adult life.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Come Again?

Growing Up

I grew up in a church where people talk about
relying on God and grace and forgiveness,
but act like everything depends on them
and carry grudges for generations.

What the heck is that all about?

- Parker J. Palmer
Calvin College Festival of Faith and Writing

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Shouldn't Dunkers Be Playing Basketball?

Fantasy Football

Elgin - The Holy Dunkers started their first season with a win today against visiting New England, 27-7. Alexander Mack led the Dunkers to victory going 8 for 18 for 123 yards and one passing touchdown. Also adding to the scoring was Peter Becker the running back. He rushed for 149, with a 5.3 average, and a touchdown. He also caught a pass for 7 yards. John Kline, the leading tight end, lead receiving with two catches for 57 yards. Etown Juniata, Christopher Sauer Jr., Sander Mack, Ulrich Messenger, and Shawn Flory Replogle each contributed one catch.

The defense lead the way for the Dunkers. Ted Studebaker had 3 tackles and 2 picks. Dan West the other cornerback, had 4 tackles. Quinter, a DT, lead the attack on Tom Brady with 2 sacks. Brady eventually left the game with a head injury. Anna Mow had 2 tackles and an interception, despite being 5'5'.

On the special teams, Brethern Boy kicked two field goals, and three extra points. Next week the Dunkers play the Saints in New Orleans.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Stampede

Pandemonium Over Sighting of 'Jesus' Apparition

Thousands of Catholic faithful and motorists trooped en masse to the premises of the Saint Paul's Catholic Church, Benin, the Edo State capital, to behold the appearance of an apparition, which many believed to be Jesus Christ.

The sudden appearance of the apparition in the church remained a shock and mystery to worshipers and all, who trooped to catch a glimpse of it. The development caused serious vehicular and human traffic, making movement hard for several hours with long stretch of vehicles on the route, as commercial motorcycle riders, popularly called Okada, were not left out in the ensuing stampede.

Some workers at the church said the apparition had earlier appeared on Wednesday about 3p.m. during the hour of divine mercy. One of the Catholic faithful, Mrs. Bernedette Idalo, said that it was the exact time Jesus Christ was said to have died when he was crucified.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Are you ready for our party with a purpose?

Body Gospel - America's #1 Faith Based Workout

If you've struggled to lose weight on your own, you're not alone. Millions of people just like you struggle with it every day. Moms, husbands, hard working folks. But after years of searching these people finally found a way to get healthy by uniting their desire to lose weight, with a power they knew they could depend on -- faith.

Introducing Body Gospel --are you ready for our party with a purpose? And the purpose is to get you healthy, mind body and spirit. Let's Get Moving!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Thursday, August 05, 2010

A Modest Proposition

Overturned

"A federal judge has overturned Proposition 8, finding it is unconstitutional! I'm asking all Christian divorcees to take to the streets and demand that the gays stop undermining your many marriages! Protect the sanctimony of divorce!" - Mrs. Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Just Y

YMCA Is Downsizing to a Single Letter

The organization previously known as the Y.M.C.A. is henceforth to be called "the Y."

"It's a way of being warmer, more genuine, more welcoming, when you call yourself what everyone else calls you," said Kate Coleman, the organization's senior vice president and chief marketing officer.

Sunday, August 01, 2010

The Possibilities are Simply Endless

Top 10 Ways to Share Gospel Tracts

You'll find a lot more than 10. Five pages of responses, with plenty of suggestions.