Friday, July 31, 2009

The Internet's Most Gracious Method

Compassionate, Yet Ferocious

Is someone you know less perfect than you in his or her lackadaisical facsimile of faith? As a True Christian, it is your responsibility to remind them of how much more the Lord dotes on you – and that He plans to have them tortured for an eternity in Hell while you are feted with cold drinks and knowing glances in your immaculately landscaped mansion in God's Glory. After all, it undermines the enjoyment of being better than everyone else if you can't take a moment out of your busy day to remind them of this simple, immutable fact.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Sunday, July 05, 2009

It's a Miracle

Interrupted Prayers

As Linda Terry was ending her morning prayers, Mother Nature paid a visit to her Lawrence County home.

"I was in the house in my prayer closet and I was just praying for everybody that was going to be in the storm," Terry said. "[I said], 'Lord the ground is going to be wet, it's going to be windy and there's going to be trees falling.' About that time a big tree that's over my prayer closet, exactly over it and it fell right on top of the house. But actually the Lord laid it down gently and we were all blessed."

It's a benevolent deity that goes no further than dropping a tree on a woman's house while she's praying.

Saturday, July 04, 2009

Don't Talk To Strangers

Church, School Clash Over Proselytizing

Representatives of a local Christian church tried to lure a seventh-grader at Russell Middle School into a church van last week, school district officials said.

As a result, the principal sent students home with a letter to parents asking that they instruct their children not to talk to strangers, and the district has beefed up security around the property.

The letter to parents did not identify the church, and the district — acting on the advice of its attorney — has declined to name it. But sources told The Gazette that it was a church which is about 2.5 miles from the school and has gotten into trouble in the past for baptizing children without parents' permission.

"We have never had a problem like this before," spokeswoman Elaine Naleski said. "We are shocked by their actions."

A few weeks ago, officials at the school met with the church's leader to complain about members coming on school property to preach the Bible, Naleski said. But rather than stop, church members started proselytizing from public sidewalks outside the school.