Thursday, April 30, 2009

Oink Oink Gesundheit

Resources on Swine Flu Recommended by Brethren Disaster Ministries

The following information about the swine flu has been offered by Brethren Disaster Ministries as a resource to help Brethren congregations and members better understand the flu outbreak and ways to respond. Contact Brethren Disaster Ministries at 410-635-8747 or go to for more about the disaster relief work of the Church of the Brethren.

Don't do this!

Monday, April 27, 2009

Saturday, April 25, 2009

This Might Be Cheesy

Pastor In A Box

In recent months Calvary Church has experienced amazing growth. For every number that's recognized or recorded, a life is represented. And that's what it's all about. Lives are being touched and changed. People are experiencing freedom, restoration, and spiritual growth. God is up to something...something incredible.

If Calvary Church breaks the 4,000 attendance barrier Sunday, April 12th and Sunday, April 19th Ben will sacrifice all the comforts of common daily life, make his way to the roof of Calvary Church, overlooking Highway 161, and reside in a 'roomy' 6x6x6 foot plexi-glass box for three days and nights. He will enter the box on April 26th at 7:00pm and exit the box April 29th at 7:00pm.

Monday, April 20, 2009

A Prophecy Come True

Programmed For Happiness

“I think there’s a revolution happening,” said Claire Brightwater, producer of a new spring water that shares her last name. “I really believe that spiritual people like myself want to make a change, with all the suffering in the world now.”

Ms. Brightwater, who calls herself a psychic, healer and medicine woman, and who owns a Native American crafts gallery in Queens, applies the New Age healing techniques she has used on crystals for three decades to transfer what she claims is palpable “good energy” to her water and those who drink it.

It is a complicated process. Once the bottles arrive from their source near Saratoga Springs, N.Y., Ms. Brightwater said, she lays out tumbled stones that she has “programmed for love, health and prosperity” around and on top of each case.

She burns sage and sweet grass, herbs used by the Native Americans, to clarify and purify the energy of the water, and prays for its drinkers to experience good health, good luck and prosperity. She said she then asks “the Great Spirit to help feed the hungry children, keep the waters clean and to protect the two- and four-legged on this planet.”

She plays CDs of Native American and Buddhist healing chants for 12 hours a day, until the cases of water are delivered.

Ms. Brightwater has found a powerful distribution channel for her water: two Whole Foods Markets in the city have started carrying it this year. Bottled water, measured in units, is the company’s top-selling item, and she said she is already hearing from appreciative shoppers. “So many people have e-mailed me to tell me they can feel the energy flowing through them when they drink the water,” she said. “I’m astounded.”

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Completely and Perfectly Acceptable in the Eyes of God

Not Every Life is Sacred

Overturning 2,000 years of religious doctrine, an out-of-breath and visibly flustered Pope Benedict XVI announced Sunday that the termination of unwanted pregnancies was now "completely and perfectly acceptable in the eyes of God."
Enlarge Image Pope

Following a wild night on the town, a frantic Pope Benedict XVI proclaims that "not every life is sacred."

The divine proclamation, which contradicts prior teachings of the Roman Catholic Church, was reportedly made by Pope Benedict after a late night phone call to his Vatican residence. According to witnesses, His Holiness was seen pacing back and forth, nervously wringing his hands, and cursing at himself in a hallway mirror before coming to the sudden decision.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Gob Smacked

More Than Meets The Eye

Unconfirmed sources are hinting that Susan Boyle, the darling of Britain's Got Talent, will be performing the theme song for next summer's National Youth Conference. It is not clear whether Ms. Boyle will also be performing an evening concert during the conference week.

The conference coordinators could not be reached for comment.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Thursday, April 09, 2009

This Event is Free to Attend and Open to the Public

Christian Symposium on Aliens

VISION: To present Biblical evidence that the phenomena and entities commonly referred to as "aliens" by popular culture are indeed spiritual in nature - opposed to genuinely extra-terrestrial - and is best described as the activity of "fallen angels" intent on deceiving mankind away from a knowledge of the true God and gospel of His Son, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

MISSION: To assemble many of most noted Christian authors and researchers in the field of "alien" research, so that others may benefit from their consensus view and combined decades of research and ministry, and thus equip The Body of Christ to not be deceived by these "...seducing spirits and doctrines of devils" (1 Tim 4:1) and perhaps most importantly, to effectively minister to those currently bound and tormented by their influence.

This event is free to attend and open to the public, but Roswell is typically packed on UFO Festival Weekend. Pre-register to ensure "Guaranteed Seating" by pre-ordering the 3 DVD set containing July 3-5 lectures on 2 DVDs and July 5th symposium on 3rd DVD.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Johnny Sokko!

The Saddest Day in Nostalgic History

Every spring, Christians reflect on the sacrifice of Jesus. But who mourns for Giant Robot? Who salutes the skies and thinks, thank you for protecting the Earth from the great rubbery space menace? I ask you, could your Jesus shoot rockets from his fingers? Well, could he? No.

“And so, the saga comes to an end,” the narrator then says. “Giant Robot sacrificed himself to save the Earth.”

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Ho Tai, Actually

Man Outraged by Buddha Statues

A man has complained about statues, calling them "infuriating to God."

He said he was shocked when he saw visitors rubbing the heads and bellies of two smiling statues while visiting an attraction with his family.

Saturday, April 04, 2009

Friday, April 03, 2009

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Interactive Quiz

How Progressive or Conservative Are You?

The Center for American Progress’ latest pair of reports on the new progressive era now sweeping the country map in detail the changing face of American political thought over the past several decades.