Frosty_2

Frosty Threatens Suit

Animated movie actor Frosty the Snowman announced on Tuesday that he has placed Attorney Johnnie Cochran on retainer and is considering a civil suit against the Church of the Brethren, an Elgin, Illinois, based denomination. Frosty alleges that he suffered irreparable harm to his reputation from the comments made during the Church of the Brethren Christmas Eve Service broadcast on CBS. During that service Oakton, Virginia, pastor Christopher Bowman criticized the cartoon character’s appearance and suggested that he was not fit to be present in a nativity display.

At a hastily called press conference, an obviously distraught Frosty said the nationally broadcast criticism was interfering with his ability to make a living. “My agent says that all interest in me has evaporated. I was hoping for a guest shot on The Simpsons, but after Christmas Eve they called and said they were going in another direction. Everyone in the industry is freezing me out.”

Religious scholars are at a loss to explain why the Church of the Brethren harbors such animosity towards Frosty. According to Marin Marty, professor emeritus at the University of Chicago, the Brethren are known as a peaceable people. “It just doesn’t make sense. Frosty is a lot like the Brethren – he’s non-violent and appears to live simply. I have no explanation,” Marty said. “I just hope this is an isolated event and not the beginning of a trend for the Brethren.”

Frosty has the same concern and says it is part of the reason he is considering legal action. “At first thought, ‘Why me?’” he said. “Then I began to think, if I don’t stand up against this, who will be next? Rudolph? Santa?”