Lord God, He Who Commanded Light to Shine out of Darkness told reporters this Wednesday that despite creating all other forms of life in the universe,
He in fact had nothing to do with creating gerbils. “I just wanted everyone to know that I have absolutely no idea where gerbils came from; they just showed up a few million years ago and started reproducing,” admitted God, the Divine Creator of Life, Heaven, Earth, and the rest of the order of Rodentia, but not gerbils.
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