The Science of Misinterpretation

Squirmeneutics

squir-me-neu-tics (skwûrm'mə-nōō'tĭks)
n. (used with a sing. or pl. verb)

1. the science of misinterpretation, esp. of the Scriptures, to such a degree that it causes listeners with any common sense to squirm.
   
2. misinterpretation of the Scriptures so absurd that it causes one to question whether or not it could possibly be for real