Religion Commparison

A Comparison Of Religious Theories

• 7th Day Adventist - He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses.
  
• Agnosticism - It is not possible to know whether toys make a bit of difference.
  
• Amish - Toys with batteries are surely a sin.
  
• Anglican - They were our toys first.
  
• Apathy - Toys? Why do I need toys?
  
• Apostolic Faith (Oneness Movement) - There is only one toy, and it is in our church.
  
• Assembly of God -It doesn't matter how you play with the toys as long as more people join in with you.
  
• Atheism - There is no toy maker.
  
• B’Hai - All toys are just fine with us.
  
• Baptist - Once played, always played.
  
• Branch Davidians - He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.
  
• Capitalism - He who dies with the most toys, wins.
  
• Catholicism - He who denies himself the most toys, wins.
  
• Church of Christ - He whose toys make music, loses.
  
• Church of Christ, Scientist - We are the toys.
  
• Church of Scientology - Toys ‘R’ Us.
  
• Communism - Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you go straight to the opposite of heaven if we catch you selling ours.
  
• Confusianism - Once a toy is dipped in water, it is no longer dry.
  
• Crystal Cathedral - There are no bad toys, and no bad toy players.
  
• Evolutionism - The toys made themselves.
  
• Existentialism - Toys are a figment of your imagination.
  
• Greek Orthodox - No, they were OURS first.
  
• Hari Krishna - He who plays with the most toys, wins.
  
• Hedonism - To heck with the rulebook. Let’s play!
  
• Hinduism - He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals, loses.
  
• Jehovah's Witnesses - He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.
  
• Liberalism - I feel good playing with toys, don't you? That is why I know I am going to heaven
  
• Lutheranism -- We are justified by toys alone through play (and not by work, lest anyone should boast).
  
• Methodist - Toys are toys are toys.
  
• Mormonism - Every boy may have as many toys as he wants.
  
• Name-it-Claim-it - I have toys. I have toys. I have toys. I have toys. I have toys. I have toys. I have toys.
  
• Non-denominationalism - We don't care where the toys came from, let's just play with them.
  
• Pentecostalism - He whose toys can talk, wins.
  
• Polytheism - There are many toy makers.
  
• Presbyterian- These toys were chosen for you to play with and these were chosen for me to play.
  
• Republicans - If you don't repeal this tax on all toys, you will go to hell.
  
• Taoism - The doll is as important as the dump truck.
  
• Voodoo - Let me borrow that doll for a second...
  
• Witchcraft - Toy making is killing our Earth Goddess.
  
• Word of Faith - Send me $100 and I will tell you "How you TOO can have more toys."