Rice-a-Roni, the San Francisco Threat

As it turns out, there are problems with sending a package of rice to the White House as a protest to the administration's stance on Iraq. At best, your rice is going to the dead letter office or in a worst case scenario you're going to get a call from the Secret Service wondering about the suspicious package you've sent. In spite of the problematic logistics many Brethren throughout the denomination are seeking avenues of protest. Well, we here at the Gospel Messenger have a couple of suggestions. Members of Voice of an Open Spirit (VOS) and other communists are encouraged to send packages of tofu (firm - to symbolize your resolve) to the Brethren Revival Fellowship (BRF) as a way to protest their stance. Meanwhile, members of the BRF are being encouraged to send good old fashioned New Windsor canned beef (in a pinch, a package of Scrapple will do) to the VOS camp as a way of demonstrating the traditional way that Brethren have helped other for countless years. Finally, mothers throughout the denomination are being asked to write to the BRF and VOS, asking that any food received along with any rice which has not yet been sent be delivered to a convenient food pantry or soup kitchen. As any mom can tell you, there are starving children in China, and in the US, and in Afghanistan, and in Iraq... So clean your plates and be sure to grab a jar of salsa before you leave.