Gospel Messenger: 03/01/2014

Friday, March 21, 2014

Ethnic Joke

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 2 Africans,

...walk into a fine restaurant.

"I'm sorry," says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group.

[drag/highlight/select below for the punchline]
"You can't come in here without a Thai."

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

American Jesus Madness 2014

The Jesus Bracket In a first for the American Jesus Madness tournament we’ve got an entire region of the bracket dedicated solely to Jesus. Well, movie Jesuses at least. The movie Son of God made such an uproar over its casting of a not unattractive man as Jesus, that I felt like we needed to settle this debate once and for all and decide who is the greatest Jesus of them all. Personally, my money is on Willem Dafoe. Why? Because, sure, they all have their Jesus powers, but he’s the only one who’s also an exploding pumpkin throwing, glider flying, halloween themed supervillain. He may be momentarily distracted by the sheer sex appeal of Diogo Morgado or get tongue twisted trying to say all those “o”s at the same time, but that’s nothing the Green Goblin can’t handle.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Mystery Code Cracked

Ask MetaFilter member JannaK presented the community with a puzzle that had been troubling her family for nearly 20 years. Her grandmother died in 1996 from cancer and in her last days she scribbled down a seemingly non-sensical string of characters on index cards. Nobody knew what it all meant. Then the Metafilter community solved the puzzle in 14 minutes.