This Year's Costumes

Five Problems with Modern Video Games

How to Talk Like a Christian

A Servant's Heart

How To Invite Someone To Church

Don't Sit In My Pew

Two Comics Walk Into A Church

Song of Solomon Pickup Lines

Jesus Was A Country Boy

If Jesus Was on Facebook

Organized Church Rivalry Association

Pleasuring God with Your Mouth

Run For It!

All Essential Bingo Will Remain Open

It's Board meeting time again; here's your latest Buzzword Bingo.

If you're not happy with the sheet that you're initially presented, click Reload until you get a card that looks like a winner.

Dark Side

Church Promotes Chainsaw Juggling Ministry

Eastside Christian Assembly, is a church that truly believes that all members are called to serve. The large suburban church of almost 5,000 encourages every member to use his or her gifts for the edification of the body and building up of the kingdom...no matter how unique or bizzare.

Like most churches, in the early years of ECA there were only a handful of ministries, such as Teaching, Administration, Worship and Music. But as the church grew, and more and more members wanted to serve, the church began adding other official "ministries." Some of them include;

-Hand puppet ministry
-Fish tank cleaning ministry

-Football ministry

-Football watching ministry

The most recent addition came when new member, Steve Cowell presented his unique and dangerous talent to the church's leadership.

"I juggle chainsaws," said Cowell. "I perform shows all over the country, and for private parties, but I really feel called to serve in the church."

When Cowell approached the pastor and elders about where he could serve, they quickly surmised that they needed to form a new ministry department.

"We are excited about what Steve is going to bring to our church," stated Donnen. "His chainsaw weilding will no doubt build up the Kingdom. We also intend to involve him in our Sunday morning worship sometime, perhaps having him perform during the offertory, or accompany my preaching as an object lesson. I think it would go well with a judgement passage or something pretty forceful."

When asked how long Cowell had been performing, he stated "Ten years now," while holding up his seven remaining fingers."

A Simple Guide

Good Shepherd

The Pathology of TV Evangelism

via nakedpastor.com

Just Say No

katandthemouse:

tilthingsarebrighter:

"When you dress like that it’s like putting a steak in front of a dog; what do you expect?"
Peanut butter is basically my dog’s favorite thing in the world.

You know why she’s not even touching it?

I said “no.”

The Ghost

Live For Days Like This

Naive

Bacon Jesus. He sizzled for your sins.

Blasphemy on a Bun

Kuma’s Corner is a burger and sandwich restaurant in Chicago with a love of local food and Heavy Metal music. Every month they come out with a “burger of the month.” This month’s burger is the Ghost; a tribute to the extremely theatrical Swedish band of the same name.

Kuma's went all the way with the tribute burger. Here’s the ingredient list:

10 oz. patty
Slow braised goat shoulder
Aged white cheddar
Ghost chile aioli

But the pièce de résistance is this:

Red wine reduction
Communion wafer garnish

The body and blood on a bun.

This is So Wrong

the-sarcastic-robot:

coffee:

selfish:

dqdbpb:

Angelina Jolie’s daughter

and Gwen Stefani’s son

both so cute

Parenting done right

ugh. this is so wrong. how can you support someone letting their kid wear socks on grass. do you know how hard it is to wash those stains out?

I thought I was going to have to yell at someone for being a close minded asswipe but that was the biggest plot twist of my life.

but no seriously those stains are a bitch to get out

Just In Case

Teenage Jesus

Sing a Little Louder

Muad'Dib

Unfortunately, They're Dead