Taken for Granite
A solution has been worked out to the problem of displaying the 10 commandments in an Alabama courthouse. In an effort to not endorse Christianity as a state religion, a plan has been worked out where the courthouse display will be changed on a monthly basis. Displays representing the following religions will each have their own month to be displayed: Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Atheist, Hinduism, Wiccan/Pagan/Druid, Native American Religion, Baha'i, New Age, Sikhism, Taoist. So as to not disrupt the daily courthouse operations, displays will be changed under the cover of darkness, over night, following the precedent set when the original display was installed. The order in which the displays will be installed will be based on a random drawing.
Wednesday, August 13, 2003
Peace Church Colleges Launch "Prozac for Peace" Campaign
Three Indiana colleges affiliated with the three historic peace churches (Manchester College, Church of the Brethren; Goshen College, Mennonite Church; and Earlham College, Religious Society of Friends) unveiled yesterday their new campaign, "Prozac for Peace." Each Institution received a grant from the Lilly Endowment of Eli Lilly and Company, manufacturer of, among other drugs, the anti-depressant Prozac.
When reached for comment, the grant administrators at each college denied any conflict of interest in receiving funding from a major corporation to assist studies which include critical analysis of corporate control of society and government. An intern close to the situation commented, "And certainly we don't see it as them meddling with the church, either. After all, how often do worship and committee meetings really improve your mood any more these days? Our opinion is that the church needs Eli Lilly. The church needs Prozac. And quite frankly, so does the President. I mean, how happy can that guy really be, having to kill hundreds of thousands to show that killing is wrong? It's an enormous burden. I'd even go so far as to say that our president's enemies need it too, after so much loss. How else are they supposed to recover their spirit, living in such horrible times?"
Eli Lilly's PR staff, when asked if the President, his enemies and victims should take Prozac, replied, "If someone in unhappy in any way, we say to them, 'Here, have some Prozac.'" The colleges seem to have taken this attitude as their cue to launch the campaign, and each will offer a new, "groundbreaking" course next semester entitled "Mental Health and World Peace." The course will focus on peace from the microcosm of personal relationships in regards to race, gender, and class, and expand the focus from there to genocide and nuclear holocaust, and how Prozac can help "increase the peace." As one professor slated to teach the new course commented, "If everyone's happy, then there will be no conflict ever again. Prozac will revolutionize the entire application of peace building theory." A Brethren congregation torn apart by conflict over U.S. foreign policy served as a test subject for the "Prozac for Peace" program. The pastor said, "Prozac changed our lives."! One parishioner asked, "War? What's war?" Tests on government officials are still inconclusive.
Allegations that officials from the Mennonite Church USA met secretly with Eli Lilly's top staff to persuade them to test the Church of the Brethren's General Offices first in order to aid the Mennonite's possibility of hostile takeover of the denomination have yet to be confirmed. Similarly, the Church of the Brethren's Annual Conference Program & Arrangements Committee could not be reached for comment regarding the strong resemblance between the 2003 Annual Conference logo and Lilly's logo for their Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder medication, Strattera.
Three Indiana colleges affiliated with the three historic peace churches (Manchester College, Church of the Brethren; Goshen College, Mennonite Church; and Earlham College, Religious Society of Friends) unveiled yesterday their new campaign, "Prozac for Peace." Each Institution received a grant from the Lilly Endowment of Eli Lilly and Company, manufacturer of, among other drugs, the anti-depressant Prozac.
When reached for comment, the grant administrators at each college denied any conflict of interest in receiving funding from a major corporation to assist studies which include critical analysis of corporate control of society and government. An intern close to the situation commented, "And certainly we don't see it as them meddling with the church, either. After all, how often do worship and committee meetings really improve your mood any more these days? Our opinion is that the church needs Eli Lilly. The church needs Prozac. And quite frankly, so does the President. I mean, how happy can that guy really be, having to kill hundreds of thousands to show that killing is wrong? It's an enormous burden. I'd even go so far as to say that our president's enemies need it too, after so much loss. How else are they supposed to recover their spirit, living in such horrible times?"
Eli Lilly's PR staff, when asked if the President, his enemies and victims should take Prozac, replied, "If someone in unhappy in any way, we say to them, 'Here, have some Prozac.'" The colleges seem to have taken this attitude as their cue to launch the campaign, and each will offer a new, "groundbreaking" course next semester entitled "Mental Health and World Peace." The course will focus on peace from the microcosm of personal relationships in regards to race, gender, and class, and expand the focus from there to genocide and nuclear holocaust, and how Prozac can help "increase the peace." As one professor slated to teach the new course commented, "If everyone's happy, then there will be no conflict ever again. Prozac will revolutionize the entire application of peace building theory." A Brethren congregation torn apart by conflict over U.S. foreign policy served as a test subject for the "Prozac for Peace" program. The pastor said, "Prozac changed our lives."! One parishioner asked, "War? What's war?" Tests on government officials are still inconclusive.
Allegations that officials from the Mennonite Church USA met secretly with Eli Lilly's top staff to persuade them to test the Church of the Brethren's General Offices first in order to aid the Mennonite's possibility of hostile takeover of the denomination have yet to be confirmed. Similarly, the Church of the Brethren's Annual Conference Program & Arrangements Committee could not be reached for comment regarding the strong resemblance between the 2003 Annual Conference logo and Lilly's logo for their Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder medication, Strattera.
Bible Study - 2 Samuel 6:20
Then David returned to bless his household. And Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David, and said, How glorious was the king of Israel to day, who uncovered himself to day in the eyes of the handmaids of his servants, as one of the vain fellows shamelessly uncovereth himself!
"When those gates go open wide, I am going to sit by Jesus side,
I am going to sing, I am going to shout 'Praise the Lord!'"
July 26-30, 2003
Greater San Diego Christian Sunbathing Association
Camp Closed to all visitors - gates lock
Then David returned to bless his household. And Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David, and said, How glorious was the king of Israel to day, who uncovered himself to day in the eyes of the handmaids of his servants, as one of the vain fellows shamelessly uncovereth himself!
"When those gates go open wide, I am going to sit by Jesus side,
I am going to sing, I am going to shout 'Praise the Lord!'"
July 26-30, 2003
Greater San Diego Christian Sunbathing Association
Camp Closed to all visitors - gates lock
Sunday, August 10, 2003
Survey Says...
Our sibling publication, Messenger magazine, has a online survey where readers (or anyone else) can post their opinions. We encourage respondants to answer question #6 with "I do not use e-mail or internet access." And for #21, tell them GM sent you.
Alway willing to jump on a band-wagon, The Gospel Messenger staff have exploited or bussword technology, and posted our own survey.
Our sibling publication, Messenger magazine, has a online survey where readers (or anyone else) can post their opinions. We encourage respondants to answer question #6 with "I do not use e-mail or internet access." And for #21, tell them GM sent you.
Alway willing to jump on a band-wagon, The Gospel Messenger staff have exploited or bussword technology, and posted our own survey.
Thursday, August 07, 2003
Monkey See, Monkey Do
Faced with growing administrative costs, of which salaries is an ever increasing component, the General Board is looking into creative measures to fill its future staffing needs. One such measure may be fulfilled by PPI which, as it expands its services, may be able to bulk up the numbers of administrative staff that the denominational headquarters has seen constantly shrinking. According to one General Board member, the savings in salaries and benefits alone will help fund expanded program and potentially allow some discontinued positions to be reopened. However, while such a move would not be expected to hurt the already negative image of leadership held by many in the denomination, it would very likely start a whole new dialog over the relative merits of evolution versus creationism.
Faced with growing administrative costs, of which salaries is an ever increasing component, the General Board is looking into creative measures to fill its future staffing needs. One such measure may be fulfilled by PPI which, as it expands its services, may be able to bulk up the numbers of administrative staff that the denominational headquarters has seen constantly shrinking. According to one General Board member, the savings in salaries and benefits alone will help fund expanded program and potentially allow some discontinued positions to be reopened. However, while such a move would not be expected to hurt the already negative image of leadership held by many in the denomination, it would very likely start a whole new dialog over the relative merits of evolution versus creationism.
Wednesday, July 30, 2003
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Beware the Ties That Bind
Those old order folks had it right all along. It seems that there's more to the concept of plain dress than simple living and non-conformity. The medical community has recently determined that neckties, a no-no for the plain-dressed among us, can be a risk factor for a major cause of blindness. But we've had it backwards. It seems that seeing clearly does not lead you to go sans-tie. Instead, it's the worldly garb that can prevent the seekers' vision. We wonder what's next.
Those old order folks had it right all along. It seems that there's more to the concept of plain dress than simple living and non-conformity. The medical community has recently determined that neckties, a no-no for the plain-dressed among us, can be a risk factor for a major cause of blindness. But we've had it backwards. It seems that seeing clearly does not lead you to go sans-tie. Instead, it's the worldly garb that can prevent the seekers' vision. We wonder what's next.
Wednesday, July 23, 2003
Conference Wrapup
The official Conference wrapup is online, and the Dunker Journal has given it's review of the worship music along with some highlights. Now the Gospel Messenger will jump on the band wagon with our annual review. Readers of our print versions in past years are familiar with our tradition of providing a sermon analysis of the worships at Annual Conference. The attached chart shows the relatively accurate counts in the various sermons of the occurance of "Jesus", "Jesus Christ", "Christ", and "Christ Jesus". What better way to rate a Conference then hard, cold statistics.
The official Conference wrapup is online, and the Dunker Journal has given it's review of the worship music along with some highlights. Now the Gospel Messenger will jump on the band wagon with our annual review. Readers of our print versions in past years are familiar with our tradition of providing a sermon analysis of the worships at Annual Conference. The attached chart shows the relatively accurate counts in the various sermons of the occurance of "Jesus", "Jesus Christ", "Christ", and "Christ Jesus". What better way to rate a Conference then hard, cold statistics.
Tuesday, July 22, 2003
Give Me a Child Until He Is 7, and I Will Show You The Man
| Bob Gross, Co-Executive Director, MoR Coordinator will be leading a workshop at the 7th Annual Piecemakers Congress. He will be sharing his secrets ways of persuasion. We are sure that this will be an interesting talk, as Bob is known to be a straight shooter. We wonder if he will be participating in the traditional action/public witness where people attending the conference ask the local Toy R Us to stop selling violent toys. |  |
Friday, July 04, 2003
WWMD?
What weapons of mass destruction? Click here for more details (the link's not broken; look closely).
What weapons of mass destruction? Click here for more details (the link's not broken; look closely).
Sunday, June 29, 2003
Annunal Conference Buzzword Bingo
Just in time for Boise... Click here to get your Brethren buzzword bingo card.
Just in time for Boise... Click here to get your Brethren buzzword bingo card.
Thursday, June 26, 2003
Clock's Ticking on Takeover Bid
The Mennonite's hostile takeover bid for its rival Church of the Brethren denomination will expire July 7, but the Mennonite Church expects to extend the offer, according to the formal offer filed Monday with the NCC.
The Mennonite Church stunned the religious community on Friday when it launched a $5.1 billion hostile bid for the Church of the Brethren, only a few days before the Brethren's Annual Conference is to take place in Boise.
According to the new filing, on June 20, 2002, The Mennonite Church and the Church of the Brethren entered into negotiations at the Church of the Brethren's bequest "concerning the possibility of combining the congregations of the two denominations." The discussion was "general in nature" and no valuation was discussed. But a few days later the denominations concluded they couldn't come to a mutually agreeable decision, and the matter was dropped, the Mennonite Church filing states.
On Friday, the Mennonites sent a letter to the Church of the Brethren's General Board, telling them about the takeover bid. The Mennonite Church says the General Board has not yet approved the offer or otherwise commented on it as of the date of the offer to purchase.
But the Church of the Brethren's General Secretary characterized the offer as "a transparent attempt" to disrupt The Church of the Brethren.
The Mennonite Church said in its filing that it has $6 billion in cash on hand, more than enough to cover the terms of initial deal. But it has arranged for a $5 billion revolving credit facility with Credit Suisse First Boston, which it would also draw on to pay shareholders.
The Mennonite Church can back out of the offer if another bid is made for the Church of the Brethren, the filing states. There has been much speculation that another religious rival could make a bid for the company, with Quaker, Presbyterian and Methodist denominations all listed by industry observers as possible bidders.
If the merger is completed, the Mennonite Church will be "providing enhanced and extended support for (the Church of the Brethren's) congregations, incorporating advanced features from the denomination's programs," the Mennonite Church states.
The merger would definitely boost the Mennonite Church's share of the peace church market, leaving only the Quakers (Friends) as the sole other historic peace church. The Mennonite denomination said in the filing that it does not anticipate any problems with antitrust issues.
The acquisition would technically be conducted through a special purchasing firm, Pepper Acquisition, a subsidiary of Oracle.
The Mennonite's hostile takeover bid for its rival Church of the Brethren denomination will expire July 7, but the Mennonite Church expects to extend the offer, according to the formal offer filed Monday with the NCC.
The Mennonite Church stunned the religious community on Friday when it launched a $5.1 billion hostile bid for the Church of the Brethren, only a few days before the Brethren's Annual Conference is to take place in Boise.
According to the new filing, on June 20, 2002, The Mennonite Church and the Church of the Brethren entered into negotiations at the Church of the Brethren's bequest "concerning the possibility of combining the congregations of the two denominations." The discussion was "general in nature" and no valuation was discussed. But a few days later the denominations concluded they couldn't come to a mutually agreeable decision, and the matter was dropped, the Mennonite Church filing states.
On Friday, the Mennonites sent a letter to the Church of the Brethren's General Board, telling them about the takeover bid. The Mennonite Church says the General Board has not yet approved the offer or otherwise commented on it as of the date of the offer to purchase.
But the Church of the Brethren's General Secretary characterized the offer as "a transparent attempt" to disrupt The Church of the Brethren.
The Mennonite Church said in its filing that it has $6 billion in cash on hand, more than enough to cover the terms of initial deal. But it has arranged for a $5 billion revolving credit facility with Credit Suisse First Boston, which it would also draw on to pay shareholders.
The Mennonite Church can back out of the offer if another bid is made for the Church of the Brethren, the filing states. There has been much speculation that another religious rival could make a bid for the company, with Quaker, Presbyterian and Methodist denominations all listed by industry observers as possible bidders.
If the merger is completed, the Mennonite Church will be "providing enhanced and extended support for (the Church of the Brethren's) congregations, incorporating advanced features from the denomination's programs," the Mennonite Church states.
The merger would definitely boost the Mennonite Church's share of the peace church market, leaving only the Quakers (Friends) as the sole other historic peace church. The Mennonite denomination said in the filing that it does not anticipate any problems with antitrust issues.
The acquisition would technically be conducted through a special purchasing firm, Pepper Acquisition, a subsidiary of Oracle.
Sunday, June 22, 2003
Oil for Peace
 | The strapped for cash General Board has announced that is in the early stages of negotiations to sell the oil rights to it's New Windsor and Elgin properties. The income garnered from the deal could help restore much of the programs that have been reduced due to a lack of funds. Ironically, the Board will not be examining the environmental impact in any great detail because of its recent, drastic cut backs to the Brethren Witness Office. |
Man Does Not Live On Bread Alone...
...he needs apple butter. In Boise this summer, conference goers can try an alternative. At the BRF display they'll be able to try some apple margarine with their bread.
...he needs apple butter. In Boise this summer, conference goers can try an alternative. At the BRF display they'll be able to try some apple margarine with their bread.
Sunday, June 15, 2003
Sometimes Lebanon Baloney is Just Baloney
The General Board, after much analysis, has announced that Walt Wiltcheck has been appointed to the new position of Brethren Id-Entity. It will be Wiltscheck's job to report on what the Brethren are doing. At the same time, Jim Myer was appointed to the new position of Brethren Super-Ego-Entity. It will be Myer's job to inform the Brethren what they should be doing. The existing position of Brethren Ego-Entity will continue unchanged.
The General Board, after much analysis, has announced that Walt Wiltcheck has been appointed to the new position of Brethren Id-Entity. It will be Wiltscheck's job to report on what the Brethren are doing. At the same time, Jim Myer was appointed to the new position of Brethren Super-Ego-Entity. It will be Myer's job to inform the Brethren what they should be doing. The existing position of Brethren Ego-Entity will continue unchanged.
Sunday, June 08, 2003
BVS Reloaded
| It seems that Paul "Neo" Grout is preaching not only from the Gospel, but also from "Simulacra and Simulation". Grout's fascination with The Matrix is evident in the fact that BVS Unit 254 was scheduled to begin shortly after the release of The Matrix Reloaded, the second of the movie trilogy. Grout has embraced the movies' Christian touches as much more than pseudophilosophical pastiche. Somebody be sure to check the back of the heads of those new volunteers for cable connections. | .focus()) |
Saturday, June 07, 2003
McPherson's Football in Jeopardy
A gambling scandal has rocked McPherson, news sources reported this week. While the scandal may have repercussions for the McPherson College's recruiting, they can always fall back on the PR they garner from their ties to the Tonight Show's Jay Leno.
A gambling scandal has rocked McPherson, news sources reported this week. While the scandal may have repercussions for the McPherson College's recruiting, they can always fall back on the PR they garner from their ties to the Tonight Show's Jay Leno.
Free Bats
The Outdoor Ministries Association has free baseball bats available to any church camp that would like to receive a supply. An anonymous donor from the Illinois-Wisconsin district has donated a large supply of bats. These bats are amazingly light and it should be easy to have your campers hitting home runs in no time. They will even float in the pool.
The Outdoor Ministries Association has free baseball bats available to any church camp that would like to receive a supply. An anonymous donor from the Illinois-Wisconsin district has donated a large supply of bats. These bats are amazingly light and it should be easy to have your campers hitting home runs in no time. They will even float in the pool.
Tuesday, May 27, 2003
Register While Supplies Last
Conference-goers who register early for Annual Conference will be able to walk with Christ in Boise. Brethren Press is offering a free pair of sandals to those who register before June 15th and, for those registering after the give-away deadline, you won't have to go to Denmark to get your footware; the Brethren Press store in the exhibit hall will be selling more than books.
Conference-goers who register early for Annual Conference will be able to walk with Christ in Boise. Brethren Press is offering a free pair of sandals to those who register before June 15th and, for those registering after the give-away deadline, you won't have to go to Denmark to get your footware; the Brethren Press store in the exhibit hall will be selling more than books.
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Saturday, May 10, 2003
Future Conference Site Announced
The Annual Conference Office has announced the site of the 222nd Church of the Brethren Annual Conference to be held in 2008. Realizing that delegates are becoming more and more concerned about the expense of attending conference, the Program and Arrangements committee put their heads together and came up with the place that should please most Brethren. Always known for its cheap but bountiful buffets, Las Vegas will be brimming with Brethren in July, 2008. Since the Church of the Brethren does not yet have any congregations in Nevada, arrangements have been made with the Covenant Casino Church which will act as the hosts for the conference that year. For those concerned about gambling, the Annual Conference office would like to remind everyone that, as is pointed out in the 1986 statement on gambling, there is no specific command stating, "Thou shall not gamble." For those who are concerned with horse race result, please consult the Dunker Journal.
The Annual Conference Office has announced the site of the 222nd Church of the Brethren Annual Conference to be held in 2008. Realizing that delegates are becoming more and more concerned about the expense of attending conference, the Program and Arrangements committee put their heads together and came up with the place that should please most Brethren. Always known for its cheap but bountiful buffets, Las Vegas will be brimming with Brethren in July, 2008. Since the Church of the Brethren does not yet have any congregations in Nevada, arrangements have been made with the Covenant Casino Church which will act as the hosts for the conference that year. For those concerned about gambling, the Annual Conference office would like to remind everyone that, as is pointed out in the 1986 statement on gambling, there is no specific command stating, "Thou shall not gamble." For those who are concerned with horse race result, please consult the Dunker Journal.
Go Where I Send Thee
This year has seen a serious drop off on volunteerism by Brethren senior high youth. While junior high and young adult workcamps are filled to capacity, nearly twenty percent of the senior high openings remain vacant. It seems that last summer's National Youth Conference had an unintended side effect. Exploiting a grant from the Lilly Endowment, NYC set our youth focus on vocation and now it looks like they've lost interest in volunteerism. There's still hope to be found in the current junior high generation who have not been exposed to this vocation frenzy, but Brethren Volunteer Service could be suffering in a few years when the job focused youth of today turn towards the workplace rather than joining BVS.
This year has seen a serious drop off on volunteerism by Brethren senior high youth. While junior high and young adult workcamps are filled to capacity, nearly twenty percent of the senior high openings remain vacant. It seems that last summer's National Youth Conference had an unintended side effect. Exploiting a grant from the Lilly Endowment, NYC set our youth focus on vocation and now it looks like they've lost interest in volunteerism. There's still hope to be found in the current junior high generation who have not been exposed to this vocation frenzy, but Brethren Volunteer Service could be suffering in a few years when the job focused youth of today turn towards the workplace rather than joining BVS.
Tuesday, May 06, 2003
mandatum novum do vobis
Contrary to an other reports, we would like to reassure our readers that Raymond C. Dublin was not involved in any kind of Maundy Thursday feet washing shenanigans.
Contrary to an other reports, we would like to reassure our readers that Raymond C. Dublin was not involved in any kind of Maundy Thursday feet washing shenanigans.
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