Happy About Evolution

Sky Fails to Fall

Marcia Kadish, 56, and Tanya McCloskey, 52, who have been partners for 18 years, were married by Cambridge City Clerk Margaret Drury shortly after 9 a.m. EDT on May 17th.

For the most part, gay marriage opponents remained quiet as hundreds prepared to tie the knot, but a handful of anti-gay activists turned out on Sunday night in Cambridge holding signs like "God Hates Fags."

Meanwhile, it was a beautiful day, there were no meteors to be seen, not so much as a heavy gust of wind... Perhaps God was smiling down.

ACLU is a Staunch Defender of the Religious Right

That’s the right of a student to submit a quote from the bible for the school yearbook. According to our source, “The ACLU is not persecuting christians. The only people the ACLU persecute is those who persecute others, be it George W. Bush and the patriot act, or a school where people are punished for praying individually and not as a school activity; the ACLU defends everyone's rights.”

Evolution Questions Answered

Annual Conference Costs Rise

Already staggering from sticker shock at the Charleston AC registration costs, Annual Conference participants may suffer "licker shock" at the ice cream stand this summer when they see some of that industry's biggest price hikes ever.

Blame it on bad timing. A combination of political unrest, natural disasters overseas and fluctuations in the American dairy industry have left ice cream manufacturers grappling with higher prices for key ingredients including milk, vanilla and cocoa.

Brethren can expect to pay six to 20 per cent more for everything from pints in the grocery store to cones at the stand. The annual ice cream sundae bar may soon be a fond memory.

Retail and restaurant ice cream make up a $20 billion US business in the United States, where nearly 1.6 billion gallons are produced each year, according to Bob Yonkers, chief economist for the International Dairy Foods Association.

The average person eats 26 servings of ice cream a year, according to The NPD Group, a market research firm. Statistics for Brethren ice cream consumption were unavailable at press time.

Until recently, the price of ice cream was moderated by a glut of milk. But low prices drove many farmers from the industry, and those who remain have fewer cattle following a mad cow-induced ban on importing them from Canada.

This year, demand is up and farmers can't keep pace. That's driving up the cost of the milk and butterfat needed to make ice cream, Yonkers said.

The industry also is squeezed by vanilla prices, said Lynda Utterback, executive director of the National Ice Cream Retailers Association. A series of cyclones that hit Madagascar in recent years damaged much of the vanilla crop, driving the price per gallon for vanilla syrup from $75 US to between $400 US and $800 US.

And cocoa prices are up about $1 US per pound because political unrest in the Ivory Coast - where roughly 40 per cent of the world's cocoa crop is grown - drove many farmers from their lands.

Many in the ice cream industry have some consolation in the fact that it's early in the season, and therefore easier to post higher prices than it would be during the summer.
Although the price increase is painful, some manufacturers say dairy farmers are long overdue for a break.

"Obviously we're concerned, but our main concern is for the small family farms and making sure they can make a livable wage," said Chrystie Heimert, spokeswoman for Ben & Jerry's.

It's Time to Reevaluate Our Involvement

Every day there are news reports about more deaths. Every night on TV there are photos of death and destruction. Why are we still there?

We occupied this land, which we had to take by force, but it causes us nothing but trouble. Why are we still there?

Many of our children go there and never come back. Why are we still there?

Their government is unstable, and they have loopy leadership. Why are we still there?

Many of their people are uncivilized. Why are we still there?

The place is subject to natural disasters, which we are supposed to bail them out of. Why are we still there?

There are more than 1000 religious sects, which we do not understand. Why are we still there?

Their folkways, foods and fads are unfathomable to ordinary Americans. Why are we still there?

We can't even secure the borders. Why are we still there?

They are billions of dollars in debt and it will cost billions more to rebuild, which we can't afford. Why are we still there?

It is becoming clear...

We must pull out of California!

There's No Crying in Baseball Advertising

Shortly after announcing its promotion to evangelize using bases next month, the Mission and Ministries Planning Council has called a balk on itself and has abandoned its plans to evangelize on the bases of Minor League Baseball. The ads, featuring the COB logo and the "Continuing the work of Jesus" tagline were to have debuted at the July 3rd game between the Charleston Alley Cats and the DelMarva Shorebirds.

"It isn't worth, frankly, having a debate about," chair Stan "Babe" Noffsinger said. "I'm a traditionalist. The problem in sports marketing, particularly in baseball, is you're always walking a very sensitive line. Nobody loves tradition and history as much as I do."

Under the original plan, black-and-blue ads were to appear on bases - but not home plate - during games from July 3-7. The plan began to crumble when the Everett AquaSox said they would only allow the ads on bases during batting practice - and only for one game that weekend.

"The bases were an extremely small part of this program," said Chris Bowman, Annual Conference's Moderator. "However, we understand that a segment of our worshipers was uncomfortable with this particular component and we do not want to detract from the worshiper's experience in any way."

While the logos will not be put on bases during games, it's still not certain whether they will appear during warmups.

"We listened to the worshipers," said Donna Shumate, General Board Chair. "We never saw this coming, the reaction the worshipers had. It became a flashpoint - the reaction was overwhelming."

Shumate said the MPCC had approached baseball about pulling the bases promotion.

"We don't want to do anything that takes away from a worshiper's enjoyment of the game," she said. "Some people thought it was a great idea, but others saw it as sacrilegious."

"I think they made a good decision to change their minds," District Executive Donald Booz said. "I don't think it makes any sense at all. It's a clutter. It’s not simple living."

A Record of the Historical Hollywood Jesus

No film set exists without its share of gags and accidents, even the filming of Mel Gibson’s crucifixion epic. A transcript of scenes that may never make it onto the DVD edition has been archived. Consider it a record of the historical Hollywood Jesus.

You Want Fries With That Quilt?



"Brethren Fries" - Immersed in water, Anointed with oil.

The special pommes frites were available at the Mid-Atlantic Disaster Auction.

Visit Credit Union at Annual Conference

Visitors at the Church of the Brethren Credit Union exhibit at Annual Conference will have a chance to enter a drawing for valuable prizes. Conference goers who can show the largest collection of COBCU magnets will be eligible. Already, current credit union members who are also pension plan members have collected two of the many magnets to be distributed. The credit union is now open to all people.

Universal Restoration is At Hand

Whether or not you've been believer of universal restoration it is now available to everyone.

Another Reason for a Name Change

What’s Easter Without Peeps?

Peeps at the library, peep research, and many more peep links.

Thou Shalt Not

While you may think that the 11th commandment ought to be “thou shalt not get too passionate over the The Passion,” it is not among the new commandments which have recently been identified. Those new commandments include “Thou shalt not worship false pop idols,” “Thou shalt not kill in the name of any god,” and “Thou shalt not be negative.”

The Poll Poll

Which polls did people respond to?

Are you planning to see "The Passion of the Christ"?	654 responses(72.9%)
Are you going to Annual Conference in Charleston?	155 responses(17.3%)
Which Brethren college has the best basketball team?	88 responses(9.8%)
897 total responses

This Gospel Messenger online poll is not scientific and reflects only our opinions. Results may not reflect the opinions of the Church of the Brethren, and should not be considered representative of the public as a whole.

Passion at the Cineplex

Moviegoers showed their passion for a zombie remake over the weekend - "Dawn of the Dead" earned $26.7 million at the box office and dethroned Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ" for the number one spot.

Interestingly, the two movies have many similarities. First of all, "The Passion" ends with a person rising from the dead and "Dawn of the Dead" starts with several characters rising from the dead. Email us with any other similarities you've noticed.

The Boondocks:

Same Old Song

Not waiting for reports at the past weekend's General Board meetings, Board members and staff had already begun on measures to counteract possible budget deficits. Responding to "voices from the pews," an ad hoc group with a nebulous scope and deadline has already leaped to action. Their first accomplishment was a fact finding junket to India to investigate outsourcing of congregational support and resourcing. The savings in staff salaries and benefits could save $220,000 annually which could then be used to subsidize non-General Board programming.

New Links

Over on the right column... In addition to Morons.org, we've added a link to Ship of Fools.

Change Detection Reminder

You can use the "Change Detection" option found off to the right to get notifications of updates to our site.

Performers to Sing at Two Gatherings

The Spongmonkeys have been booked to perform at two Brethren conferences this summer. First, they will be performing in Colorado at the first large scale National Young Adult Conference. Following that appearance, the wildly popular duo will present a late night concert at Annual Conference. As part of the booking arrangement, free toasted communion bread will be provided to Annual Conference. Conference goers will also find a coupon in their registration packets which will be good for a dollar off a foot long sandwich.

General Board Begins New Chapter

In spite of a decrease in 2003's congregational giving, with its recent financial upturn, the General Board has begun its journey to financial independence. "With this first step, the General Board will no longer be accountable to the special interests of individual congregations and districts who try to pose their influence through the threat of withheld giving," said a General Board representative.

DE's Gone Wild

Brethren Press' latest money making venture will be the sale of a risque video of the District Executives partying in Dayton Beach. Watch for "DE's Gone Wild 2 - Charleston" to be released later this summer.

OMA Moves Office to Elgin

Unless the tarps are there because the General Board is procrastinating on roof repairs, it looks like OMA has been putting up their tents in the Elgin General Offices.

General Board Approves Bold, New Slogan

At its October meeting, the General Board approved a bold, new identity line, aimed at defining its niche in the marketplace of US churches and helping it "leverage" itself in the 1990s and beyond.

The line: "Church of the Brethren: We're Kind of Like the Mennonites."

The new slogan grew out of an extensive $2.2 million study conducted by MennoCorp, a marketing and imaging firm loosely associated with the Mennonite Church.

MennoCorp head Levi Smucker was on hand at the Board Meeting to unveil and explain the new slogan. Said Smucker, "In the hundreds of focus groups we conducted, we asked thousands of Brethren to tell us who they are. Again and again we heard 'Oh, uh, we're kind of like the Mennonites.' It became very clear to us that this, indeed, is who you are, or at least who you ought to be. We're quite convinced that this identity line will immediately raise the profile of the Brethren. And even if it doesn't, it certainly will raise the profile of the Mennonites."

Reactions to the new Brethren slogan were largely positive. One sister at the Board meeting gushed, "I've always known deep in my heart that this is who we were but I never could find the right words. MennoCorp has articulated for me what I've always known to be true."

Several General Board staff objected to the slogan, however, on the grounds that it was too sectarian for mainline Brethren. One staff person suggested that the statement be edited slightly from "Kind of Like the Mennonites" to "Kind of Like the Methodists," but the Board was hesitant to tamper with MennoCorp's masterful words.

Also rejected was a suggestion from the Brethren/Mennonite Caucus for Gay and Lesbian Concerns that the line "Kind of Like the Metropolitan Community Church" be substituted. A representative of the Womaen's Caucus spoke vehemently against the slogan on the grounds that it contains the words "Brethren" and "Men." As a long shot alternative, the Caucus suggested "Church of Reconciliation: As Inclusive as We Wanna Be."

MennoCorp has done similar studies for other Brethren agencies and institutions in recent years, all displaying a genius for finding just the right words. Among slogans developed by MennoCorp: "Bridgewater College: Sort of Like Eastern Mennonite;" "Manchester College: Vaguely Resembling Goshen;" "LaVerne University: Really Not Anything like Fresno Pacific;" "Bethany Theological Seminary: A Far Cry com AMBS;" "The Brethren Foundation: Somewhat Similar to the Mennonite Foundation, Only Not as Wealthy;" and "BVS: In the Vein of Mennonite Volunteer Service, But Without All the Christian Baggage."

This article was originally published in the April 1, 1995 edition of the Gospel Messenger

I'll Go If You Send Me (Where It's Warm)

While the vacancies aren't as high as last year, almost 15% of the summer workcamp spaces are still open. That's comprised of a whopping 20% of the young adult slots and nearly 20% of the senior high youth spaces. The junior high youth are doing better, filling over 85% of their allotment. The northeast appears to be the least popular destination as workcamps in MA, DC, and WV have a combined vacancy pushing the 80% mark. The BRF workcamp stacks up last against the rest, having a vacancy of 45%. Maybe they'd rather go to WV.