You might be a Pastor’s Kid if . . .

• . . . you can explain the difference between a narthex, a lobby, a fellowship hall, and the commons.
• . . . you consider yourself the Zorro of sword drills.
• . . . Psalty, the Donut Man, and McGee played a greater role in your upbringing than Bert, Ernie, and Mr. Rogers.
• . . . you won at least 12 prizes for scripture memory feats.
• . . . your high school t-shirt collection was comprised entirely of freebies from church camps, sports camps, and missions trips.
• . . . you never ate Sunday lunch before 1:30 PM.
• . . . you snacked on communion bread.
• . . . everyone at church is on a first name basis with you while you’re on a “who are you?” basis with them.
• . . . you never went to a New Year’s Eve Party because you had to be at the midnight candle light service instead.
• . . . you’re pretty sure “don’t run in church” is the 11th commandment.
• . . . you ever army crawled under the church pews.
• . . . you destroyed everyone at cops ‘n robbers at church lock-ins because you knew every hiding place.
• . . . the little old ladies all want to set you up with their grand daughters/grandsons.
• . . . you were told to kiss dating goodbye. And didn’t listen.
• . . . you organized paper airplane throwing contest from the church balcony.
• . . . you knew precisely which adult Sunday school classes had the best pastries to pilfer.
• . . . you were Picasso with the church pew golf pencil.
• . . . you attended more weddings and funerals for strangers than for people you knew.
• . . . you ever hit a walk off grand slam in Bible trivia baseball.
• . . . you and a sibling used to baptize each other in the bathtub
• . . . the scariest thing you ever dressed up as for Halloween was Goliath, except it wasn’t for Halloween; it was a Harvest Party/Fall Fest/Trunk-or-Treat.
• . . . the old ladies’ scrutiny of you put the NSA to shame.
• . . . you pulled shenanigans because why not? You were going to get blamed any way.
• . . . you recommitted your life to Christ at least 7 times.
• . . . you thought your name was So-and-so’s-son (or daughter).
• . . . you never volunteered for anything at church because you were volunteered for everything.
• . . . You could blackmail half the church.
• . . . Half the church could blackmail you.
• . . . You sat in dread each Sunday waiting for your name to be uttered from the pulpit.
• . . . Every major holiday was interrupted by a church service.
• . . . You know what it means to “raise my Ebenezer.”
• . . . You can list, off the top of your head, the 10 commandments, the 12 tribes of Israel, and all 10 plagues in less than 2 minutes.
• . . . You speak like a normal person except when you pray. Then you’re either Shakespeare or Taylor Swift with laryngitis.
• . . . You ever re-wrote worship choruses as something . . . less wholesome.
• . . . You knew every word of every song on every album of at least 4 CCM bands at one time.
• . . . With a mere two words of prompting you can offer both a benediction to a service and blessing over communion.
• . . . Your first ever concert was a Christian band. Bonus points if it was held at a church.
• . . . You went on at least 4 short term missions trips.
• . . . You have a mental glossary of 150 youth group games and know how to cheat at all of them.
• . . . You got asked weekly “So, are your going to be a pastor when you grow up?”